Everyone has had a tough morning, there’s no question about that. Sometimes, it’s difficult to get out of bed. Occasionally, we all toss and turn and don’t get a refreshing rest. We wake up exhausted, grumpy and feeling generally awful.
Now imagine waking up every morning feeling like you didn’t sleep even though you know you got your eight hours of sleep. You feel like absolute garbage, but if you’re like me, you work two jobs that are both very physically demanding. There aren’t enough coffees or energy drinks to make you feel like you’re actually awake. This exhaustion is one you feel throughout your whole body, and you simply can’t shake it. Your muscles ache, occasionally you wake up with a headache that nags all day, and the pain meds simply won’t make it go away, and if they do work, it isn’t for long. The headache comes back, tenfold. But, you have to keep on pushing through. You have a job to do so you can continue to take care of yourself.
Sometimes, people will tell you, “You’re always tired!,” which isn’t something you want or need to hear. You’re aware you’re always tired. But, it’s a part of your life with fibro. If you went out the night before because you were having a good day with your symptoms in check, that makes the exhaustion worse.
People will recommend supplements and other forms of treatment to help you rest, but it feels like you have tried it all. There isn’t enough sleep in the world to shake this type of tired. I know for me, when I take melatonin supplements, they only make me feel worse in the morning. If I’ve taken melatonin for sleep, the next day I know I’m going to have to push harder to get through my day.
Mornings with fibro are rough. My body is constantly fighting this pain that won’t ease up. The pain can be incredibly consuming, and the pain owns my mornings. It takes me longer to get ready in the morning because not only am I waking up feeling like I just ran a marathon, but I’m fighting the brain fog, the pain and the horrible overall fatigue. Sometimes I’ll take a nap, but that doesn’t do much besides make me feel worse than I did when I got off work, or left the gym. Most mornings, breakfast consists of some fruit and oatmeal, because I’m too fatigued to stand over a stove to make a full breakfast. Other mornings, I might be able to stick a frozen breakfast sandwich in the microwave and take it to go because getting ready took a little extra time and I can’t sit to have my oatmeal.
Mornings with fibro have taught me a lot about managing my time, and keeping a set pace. I have learned (and am still learning) to ask for help when I need to, to slow down when I need to, and to never overdo anything. Mornings mean pain for me most days. Mornings mean exhaustion that simply won’t leave, an exhaustion that lingers in the background no matter what I do or where I am. But, mornings also mean a new day to continue to fight for myself and for people like me. Mornings might be tough with fibro, but I am stronger than the fibromyalgia, and bigger than the fatigue.